A death has just occurred, and suddenly, decisions need to be made.<\/p>\n
Call certain people. Arrange the funeral. Choose between burial and cremation. Think about the ceremony, visiting hours, flowers, music\u2026<\/p>\n
And in the meantime, you’ve just lost someone.<\/p>\n
So it’s entirely possible to look at your to-do list and not know where to start.<\/p>\n
At times like these, one thing can help: don’t try to handle everything at once.<\/strong><\/p>\n Planning a funeral is a matter of making one decision at a time. Some decisions need to be made quickly; others can wait. And most importantly, you don\u2019t have to know all the answers in advance.<\/p>\n<\/div> When emotions are running high, there\u2019s no need to try to figure out every step on your own before asking for help.<\/p>\n You can start by contacting the funeral home.<\/p>\n Simply explain what has just happened.<\/p>\n During this initial conversation, we can guide you through the next steps, let you know what information will be helpful, and work with you to prepare for the funeral planning meeting.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t need to arrive with a ceremony already planned out.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t even need to know all the possible options.<\/p>\n It\u2019s our job to explain them to you.<\/p>\n<\/div> Before making a number of decisions, there is one question worth asking:<\/p>\n Had your loved one already made plans?<\/strong><\/p>\n He may have made arrangements in advance, purchased a burial plot, or simply left certain instructions for his family.<\/p>\n In Quebec, when a family wishes to enter into a funeral services contract following a death, the funeral home must check the Registry of Prearranged Funeral Contracts before taking charge of the deceased person\u2019s body.<\/p>\n This review can help identify measures that have already been taken and prevent you from paying again for services that were already planned.<\/p>\n But not all intentions are necessarily set forth in a contract.<\/p>\n Also, look through personal documents and talk to family members.<\/p>\n Perhaps your mother had already said that she wanted to be cremated.<\/p>\n Perhaps your father had mentioned a very simple ceremony.<\/p>\n Perhaps a song, a place, or a family tradition held special significance.<\/p>\n These past conversations can serve as valuable points of reference.<\/p>\n<\/div> When you feel overwhelmed, everything seems urgent.<\/p>\n In reality, not all decisions necessarily have the same priority.<\/p>\n Some questions directly concern the care of the deceased and what will happen over the next few days.<\/p>\n Others involve personalizing the ceremony and can be addressed gradually.<\/p>\n During the meeting, it may be easier to start with the big decisions:<\/p>\n Burial or cremation?<\/p>\n Will there be an exhibition?<\/p>\n Would you like a ceremony?<\/p>\n What kind of gathering would be right for your family?<\/p>\n Once these guidelines are established, it often becomes easier to organize the other decisions.<\/p>\n The color of the flowers or the final song of the ceremony doesn’t necessarily have to be decided in the first few minutes.<\/p>\n One thing at a time.<\/p>\n<\/div> You can come to a guided arrangement session.<\/p>\n A brother. A sister. An adult child. A close friend.<\/p>\n Having someone you trust there can be invaluable, simply because they can listen along with you, take a few notes, or recall a detail you\u2019ve forgotten.<\/p>\n Sometimes, family members also have different recollections of the deceased person\u2019s wishes.<\/p>\n \u201cMom had mentioned that song.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDad used to say he didn’t want anything complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI remember that she wanted the grandchildren to participate.\u201d<\/p>\n These details can quietly reveal what really matters.<\/p>\n The Consumer Protection Agency also recommends taking the time to do your research when you need to purchase funeral services.<\/p>\n Contracts entered into after a death must specify the goods and services, as well as their prices.<\/p>\n So, ask your questions.<\/p>\n Even the ones that seem obvious to you.<\/p>\n<\/div> There are many ways to arrange a funeral.<\/p>\n And when you’re already feeling overwhelmed, having too many options can become a burden.<\/p>\n In that case, go back to a few very simple questions:<\/p>\n What would that person have wanted?<\/strong><\/p>\n What is important to our family?<\/strong><\/p>\n What do we need to say goodbye to him?<\/strong><\/p>\n Answers can vary greatly from one family to another.<\/p>\n Some people prefer a wake followed by a traditional funeral. Others prefer cremation and an intimate ceremony.<\/p>\n Some families want a very personalized celebration of life; others find greater meaning in simplicity.<\/p>\n A ceremony doesn’t have to be impressive. Personalizing a funeral doesn’t mean adding more and more elements.<\/p>\n Sometimes, three things are all it takes.<\/p>\n A photograph that everyone loves.<\/p>\n A song that instantly takes a person back to their memories.<\/p>\n A few words spoken by someone who knew her well.<\/p>\n That’s all.<\/p>\n At other times, the family may want to put together a photo collage, display a few items related to a hobby, or invite several loved ones to share a story.<\/p>\n Both approaches are possible.<\/p>\n L\u2019objectif n\u2019est pas de remplir chaque minute de la c\u00e9r\u00e9monie, mais de choisir ce qui repr\u00e9sente r\u00e9ellement la personne.<\/p>\n If you’re looking for ideas on how to plan this tribute, our guide to personalizing a ceremony based on your loved one’s life can offer some practical suggestions.<\/p>\n<\/div> It happens.<\/p>\n Not everyone experiences grief in the same way, and loved ones may have different ideas about what the person would have wanted.<\/p>\n One person envisions a religious ceremony. Another would prefer something very intimate. One child wants a memorial service, while another finds the experience too difficult.<\/p>\n Before trying to figure out who is \u201cright,\u201d try to go back to the known wishes of the deceased.<\/p>\n When these points aren’t clearly defined, it can be helpful to identify the few things the family already agrees on. And if you’re unsure which type of ceremony to choose, our article on the differences between religious and secular ceremonies <\/strong>can also help you understand your options.<\/p>\n<\/div> You don\u2019t have to do everything yourself.<\/p>\n A family member can gather the photographs.<\/p>\n Someone else can notify close relatives.<\/p>\n Someone can put together a playlist or collect the names of people who would like to speak.<\/p>\n You can also let the funeral home staff guide you through the details directly related to organizing the services. It simply allows you to save your energy for the decisions that really matter to you.<\/p>\n<\/div>Just start by calling the funeral home<\/h2><\/div>
Check to see if your loved one had already expressed their wishes<\/h2><\/div>
You don’t have to make all your decisions on the same day<\/h2><\/div>
Bring someone you trust with you<\/h2><\/div>
When there are too many choices, get back to basics<\/h2><\/div>
It just has to be meaningful.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>A ceremony can be simple yet deeply personal<\/h2><\/div>
What if family members don’t agree?<\/h2><\/div>
Sometimes, we can build on that foundation.<\/p>\nBe willing to delegate certain tasks<\/h2><\/div>
Delegating doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re less involved.<\/p>\n